Tuesday, April 17, 2012

"As we go on, We remember"

So, I am sitting here not wanting to write a paper. Its my last paper of College EVER!!!! That is a really weird thought...really weird! But as I sat in my seat staring at the computer, I decided that I should just update my blog real fast.  Maybe that will get my writing juices flowing...hopefully?

I finished my internship and now all that is left(besides the paper) is to graduate! It is crazy to think about the last five years and how much I have changed! When I first came out to college, I came in the summer term so I decided just to go to the apartments for the summer. Yet, I didn't realize how intimidating it is to be a recent high school graduate living with college graduates! But luckily my next door neighbors offered me to be in their secret cookie club.  I don't think they will ever realize that by that offer, they just offered me a lot more; friendship and confidence.  I started making cookies with them and we would deliver to random doors and sign it from the secret cookie club! After, I became really good friends with them and that summer turned out to be really fun!

I moved into the dorms shortly after that and that wasn't as intimidating.  I already lived at college for a couple months now, so I felt like the older one compared to everyone else.  I started to learn more about myself.  I feel that the first full year away from home is when you really have to figure things out for yourself.  Start to put everything you learned from your parents into practice and seeing what works for you. So that year, I grew a lot! I grew spiritually and emotionally.  I learned how to deal with girl drama, living in a small place with six girls will definitely teach you that! But I also started to find out my own reasons for believing in the gospel. I explored different majors and found out more about myself. I fully realized just how not cut throat I am and how I really wanted to work with people.

It wasn't until I moved into the Riviera that I was able to discover Therapeutic Recreation and continue forward with that major. The Riviera, three years of my life was spent there and I feel that I really learned a lot about me.  I went through my extremely shy, not confident stage. That first year, I had a lot of trials that I had to work through.  This is when I truly had to figure out who I was and learn how to embrace who I was.  I think I have always known me, but I never embraced that. But I was able to learn how to fully love me for me.  Even though that year was so hard for me, it was very much needed.  I am a much stronger person now and I am trying to help those that are in the same boat I was a few years ago.

I moved into my grandparents basement for a few months and that is what helped me to be the crazy outgoing girl I am now! I saw that I had to reach out to others if I wanted to have friends. No one was going to come knocking on my grandparents door to have me come do something. Its funny now because I tell people that I use to be a completely shy girl and they won't believe me because now I tend to be the voice for the wards I am in and my last two years in the riviera, everyone knew who I was because I was always out chatting with people, having parties and inviting everyone to do things!

This last year of college, I started to see more and more about what I really want to do with life.  I still have no idea but I really feel like I have grown as I have dug deeper into what I want.  I have learned more about what relationships are and how to deal with pains and joys that come along with that.  I have learned so much more on forgiveness and truly letting go of the past.

I am so glad for my time at college and everything I have learned, not just in the classroom. There were a lot of hard times emotionally but I know because of those experiences I am stronger and better today.  I learned how to take those trials and turn them to a good learning experience.

Now, I sit here facing a very unknown future, but I am not as scared as I thought I would be.  I know that I have a solid foundation to face whatever else is out there.  I am really exciting for the next chapter of my life!

Thanks to everyone for being a part of my college chapter.  It really is those around me that have helped me get through the good with the bad.  I have learned so much from the examples of those around me and I am so grateful for that.  Just as those friends my first summer have no idea how much they helped me then, I don't think any of you will ever realize how much you have helped me and how much you mean to me! So, Thank you!

Sorry that was a long post, I just got to thinking about me graduating from high school and me now and boy oh boy am I different! I love it!

Here is a picture of the three men that had a huge effect in my life.  I knew Bishop Hart for all three years at the Riviera and Brother V and Brother Fisher for the last two years.  But they have been an amazing bishopric and they truly helped me so much! They are being released in a few weeks but we won't ever forget them and what they did for their ward!

Izzy, Brother V, Michelle, Carson, Brother Fisher, Bishop Hart
 at the Bishopric final party